Infuse: The Band Book 1 Read online

  Table of Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Epilogue

  INFUSE

  The Band Book 1

  By Lara Wynter

  © 2017 Lara Carter. All rights reserved.

  No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher, except as permitted by Australian copyright law. For permissions contact:

  [email protected]

  Visit the author’s website at https://laraannbooks.wixsite.com/alora

  First Edition

  Cover design by L. Carter © 2017.

  Cover photo by © Olena Yakobchuk

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.

  Psalm 139:7-10 (NIV version)

  Table of Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Epilogue

  Chapter 1

  Finn

  She’s here again. As usual, her outfit doesn’t leave much to the imagination. Looking up into the glare from the lights, I focus on the feel of the music and open my mouth to sing. It’s enough. My spirit soars as I lose myself. As the song ends, I notice the crowd again. They’re starting to sweat as the warmth from thousands of bodies adds to the summer heat. Taking a moment, I grab a drink from my water bottle and smile into the crowd. I make eye contact with as many of the fans as I can. I can tell when they know I’m looking straight at them and it gives me a rush. A natural high – the only sort I get these days. Her, I ignore. She’s been at every gig on the tour so far and I don’t want to give her any more encouragement. Another obsessed fan is the last thing I need right now.

  I rest my hands back on Jude, my favorite guitar as the band starts playing. My band, the one I started when I was fifteen. Back when I thought I was invincible. Now I know better. The words are a part of me. This song always makes me feel the pain. I close my eyes as I sing.

  I can fly

  Ain’t nothing gonna stop me

  Watch me soar

  Bow to the applause

  Feel me, feel my song

  Invincible

  Thought I was invincible

  But now I know

  When the illusion shatters

  Ain’t nothing there

  To stop me falling

  Invincible…

  The crowd goes crazy as the music ends. They love this one. They think they know about my battles, my demons. But they don’t know the reality, the truth I’ve kept hidden. God willing, I’ve moved on. No one ever needs to know. I slip my guitar off my shoulder and hold it high as the applause grows deafening. The lights dim and I bow my head. Another show done. Another crowd convinced they know me through my songs.

  Adam gets up from behind the kit and high fives Drew. They’re laughing; they must be happy with how the show went tonight. Sometimes I can’t tell anymore. Was it a good show? I need to find Wes. He usually waits for me after the show, but he’s already left his usual spot behind the keyboard. Something must have happened. Wes is the serious one – he takes care of all the day-to-day stuff the rest of us don’t care about. Wes has known me since second grade when his family moved onto our street. He knows me better than anybody.

  Backstage the hallways are crowded with roadies, groupies and who knows who else. I turn around to look for a place I can find some peace and quiet to try and ground myself.

  “Finn, hey…wait up.” Trent’s voice is the last one I want to hear right now. As a tour manager he rocks. As a person, he’s a turd. Like sewage that seeps up from the ground and taints everything it touches.

  “Yeah?” I reluctantly turn around.

  “Did you forget the Meet the Ultimate Fan promo?”

  “Ahh, that’s tonight?”

  “Sure is. Come on, I made sure the winners were hot.”

  “You’re such a sleaze.”

  “Used to be you didn’t mind so much.”

  “Yeah, well some of us grew up.”

  Trent’s voice takes on a hard edge. “Well, it’s in your contract, Pretty Boy, so suck it up.”

  “Where’s Wes?”

  “He had to take care of something.”

  “What?” Sweat breaks out across my forehead. “What things?” Wes is always around after the show. He knows how hard I find this crap.

  “Doesn’t matter, you can ask him later.”

  Trent practically pushes me back down the hallway, and I let him. This is a part of my life I can’t escape. I just hope I can hold it together long enough. Please let it be enough, I pray silently as I’m shoved into the crowded room. The noise level intensifies and my head starts to pound. My eyes half close as I try to take it all in. The sudden squealing is impossible to ignore. Before I can take another step I’m surrounded.

  “Finn! I love you so much. I’m your biggest fan.” A curvy brunette with too much make-up and too little clothing presses up against me. Before I can say anything a camera phone is right in front of my face as she snaps a dozen pictures.

  They never ask, they just take from me as if I’m not even a real person. I can’t stand it, I want to vomit. As she finishes, another girl takes her place against me. A blonde this time. She doesn’t even seem to care that I’m not answering her inane questions. As long as she has her photos to post all over social media. She’ll probably make up some absurd story about our time together. It won’t be the first time.

  The girls move off to sit with Drew and Adam, where they get a much more accommodating welcome. Drew pulls the blonde onto his lap and she giggles. I need to get out of here.

  “Finn?” A quiet voice says beside me. I turn towards her, glad for the less-demanding voice.

  I can feel the blood drain from my face – it’s her…my stalker from the last dozen gigs.

  “Um,” she says, twisting her pale hair around her finger. Her face flushes.

  Not what I was expecting from the outfit and the suggestive dances she’s been performing for the past few weeks in front o
f the stage.

  “What’s your name?” I ask, taking pity on her for some reason. It’ll probably come back to bite me later when I have to take out a restraining order.

  “Ah, Autumn.”

  “Like the season?”

  “Yeah.” Autumn's face turns as red as the leaves her name represents.

  “At least they didn’t call you Fall,” I joke.

  Autumn smiles and her face lights up. I have to concentrate on breathing again. She’s beautiful, breathtaking. Her smile disappears as quickly as it came, and I can breathe again. What am I doing? There’s no way on earth I’m getting involved with an obsessed fan.

  “What’s your favorite song?” I ask. I may as well spend my required time talking to the one fan who doesn’t seem to think she has a right to my body.

  “Downwrite,” she says, surprising me again.

  Downwrite wasn’t even a single. The record execs said it was too melancholy. It’s one of my favorites and I still include it in our set list sometimes. It means a lot to me; it was the song I wrote after I hit rock bottom and realized I had to change my life.

  “Why that one?” I can’t stop myself from asking.

  “It just spoke to me when I was going through some stuff.”

  I smile for the first time. “I’m glad. It was cathartic for me as well.”

  She doesn’t pry, and I am beyond grateful. Perhaps she doesn’t want me to ask her about her life either. I can’t believe how different she is to what I thought. Perhaps the clothes and the make-up are just a shield. Far be it from me to judge someone else’s coping mechanism.

  “What are you working on now?” Autumn says, finally asking a question.

  “I haven’t written anything for a while actually.”

  “I hope that’s only temporary, I don’t know how I’d function without any new Infusion Deep music.”

  “You’d probably go into marketing or something.”

  “Heaven forbid! The last thing the world needs is more people trying to sell us stuff we don’t need.”

  “Yeah, like the world needs more Snuggies.”

  Autumn laughs and I laugh with her. I can’t remember the last time I laughed like this. Adam and Drew are staring at me like I’m an alien with two heads. I guess I’ve been a mopey prick for the last few months.

  Trent blows back into the room like a flatulent gorilla and rounds up the meet and greet girls. Before I can take stock, Autumn is gone.

  Drew comes over and flings an arm around my shoulders. “What was up with you and the hot blonde chick? Did you get her number?”

  “It wasn’t like that.”

  “Looked like it from where I was.”

  “We had a…a… connection.”

  “Ha!”

  “No, like on a personal level, we connected.”

  “Yeah, connected. I’d totally connect with that.”

  “Get over yourself, Drew,” I push his arm off my shoulder. Drew and Adam still carry on like horny teenagers. I shove the door open and exit as fast as possible. Maybe now I can find some peace somewhere.

  Chapter 2

  Finn

  The inevitable afternoon band meeting has finally finished. Adam and Drew follow Trent out of the room. No doubt they’re off to the hotel bar to have some fun before tonight’s show. It’s just Wes and me alone in the empty conference room.

  Wes runs his hand through his long brown fringe. “Sorry about disappearing last night man.”

  “What happened? Is Sophie alright?” I ask, hoping Wes’s little twelve-year-old sister isn’t sick or hurt. Although if it was anything serious, Wes wouldn’t still be here – show or no show.

  “Yeah, Sophie’s fine…for now.”

  “What happened? Pam wasn’t DUI again was she?”

  “Nah, turns out she has a brain tumor.”

  “Pam has a brain tumor? Is it serious?” Wes’s mom is no saint, but she’s all Sophie’s got. If something happened to Pam, Wes’d leave the band in a heartbeat, and I’d be screwed.

  “Don’t know yet. She’s having scans and stuff today.”

  “What about Soph?” Wes’s little sister is like family to me as well. She’s ten years younger than us and we had to watch her a lot when she was tiny. Wes’s mom had a problem with alcohol and we did what we had to for them to stay together.

  “She’s staying with a friend for the week. That’s what I was organizing last night.”

  “Yeah, and money for the tests.”

  “Yeah, that too.”

  Wes looks tired. As much as he won’t admit it, he should probably be at home with Sophie. I should tell him to go home, but I don’t.

  “So Finn…” Wes smiles or at least makes a valiant attempt. “I hear you met someone.”

  “It was nothing.” I look away, afraid to admit I spent most of the night thinking about Autumn. “Just a meet and greet.”

  “I heard there was more to it than that?”

  “Well, you heard wrong. You know what Drew’s like. He sees every pretty girl as just a few minutes of pleasure for himself.”

  “Sorry man, I was hoping you might have actually met someone.”

  “You know I don’t get involved with the fans any more.”

  “Yeah, I know. And I agree with you, I do, it’s just… well, you haven’t been yourself and I know you haven’t written anything for the new album.”

  “Hey, I don’t need that from you too.” I push my chair back roughly as I stand.

  “Chill, I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant that it’d be good for you to have someone in your life again.”

  “I have to go, I have an idea for a song.” I turn away from Wes, not wanting to continue the conversation.

  “Sorry, Finn. You don’t have to go. I’ll drop it.”

  “Doesn’t matter, I really do want to try and write this afternoon.”

  Wes doesn’t make any further arguments and I escape upstairs to my hotel suite. Picking up my guitar I realize I actually do want to write. For the first time in forever, there is new music flowing through my veins.

  The crowd falls silent as the lights dim. I jump up and down on the spot, the new song fills me with an energy I’ve been missing. For once I’m actually looking forward to the show. A roadie hands me Jude. Sure, I have dozens of guitars, but Jude is the one that’s special. She goes with me everywhere, never leaving my sight. I slip the strap over my head and walk out onto the darkened stage. The lights come up and the crowd roars as I play the opening notes to the crowd favorite, ‘Never Be Enough.’ As I belt out the lyrics, my eyes scan the crowd. As much as I try to kid myself I’m just connecting with the audience, I know I’m looking for her – Autumn.

  Three songs in and it hits me – she isn’t here. She’s been at all our shows so far, why did she miss this one? Was one meeting enough? Did she get what she came for and that’s the end of it? I know it shouldn’t matter to me but it does. It’s been so long since I felt a connection with an actual human being. To know it wasn’t real hits me like a punch to the gut.

  The rest of the show passes in a blur. I’m back on auto-pilot like I have been for months now. If the crowd notices the shift in my performance they aren’t letting on. The applause is still deafening as we finish the set.

  Wes joins me as we walk off the stage. “She didn’t come?”

  “It doesn’t matter. It was just a moment.”

  “For a while there, it felt like old times. Do you remember how pumped we were for our first show?”

  “We were more enthusiastic than talented,” I grin in reply, ignoring the sound of the crowd chanting for an encore.

  “Even back then everyone could tell you had something.”

  “Yeah, enough cockiness to believe I could rule the world.”

  “But apart from that,” Wes shoves me good-naturedly. “Even I could see it. I knew we were going places, if I just stuck with you it’d all work out.”

  “Well, that was before…”

>   “Enough, you know some things are beyond your control.”

  I look away, time to change the subject. “I wrote a new song today.”

  “Is it any good?”

  “It’s freaking awesome,” I say grinning.

  “Hey, let’s play it now during the encore.”

  “You haven’t even heard it yet.”

  “You know we used to do it all the time before we made it. Just start, we’ll catch up.”

  I still haven’t decided as we all walk back on the stage to thunderous applause. I close my eyes and feel the fretboard under my fingers. Without conscious thought my fingers pluck out the new melody and I start to sing, softly like a caress.

  It was just another day

  You were just another girl

  Like all the rest

  Except you weren’t

  Something about you

  Guess there was something about you

  Brought me to my knees

  Took me by surprise

  And brought me to my knees

  Can’t stop thinking about you

  Once and then once more

  I’m not falling

  It’s not something I believe in anymore

  Something about you

  Guess there was something about you

  Brought me to my knees

  Took me by surprise

  And brought me to my knees

  And brought me to my knees

  But, I’m not falling

  I won’t fall

  Still won’t fall for you

  There’s a girl in the front row with tears streaming down her face. I take that as a good sign. Usually, tears mean you’ve made them connect with the song. I bow my head before holding my guitar aloft.

  “Thanks, Denver, you’ve been great. Rock on! We’ll catch you next time we’re in town.”